This summer I am fundraising for my 11th Pan Mass Challenge with Team Kevin Fitz.

For those who are not familiar, this is a 2 day, 192 mile bike ride from Sturbridge to Provincetown in which 100% of the donations go directly to Dana-Farber Cancer Institute for research and treatment. The team for which I ride was named after my father who passed away from cancer nearly 18 years ago and incredibly this is the 18th year of the team's existence.

I was 18 years old and in my first month of college when he passed. Since then, I have come to realize that the process of losing a loved one to cancer is a ride in itself. Starting with the initial stinging ring of hearing the word “cancer” I quickly collected myself and downplayed it to the point of actual disbelief that it could take my dad, yet recognizing there’s a long road ahead. Then the hair goes and the idea of the world seeing him weakened rattles me into realizing that we have an uphill climb. Then the treatment works. Remission. Dad’s got the house back to tears of laughter at Sunday dinners and its smooth riding. Bam, it unexpectedly strikes again and takes him from us. For weeks I swore he was just on a vacation, I had gone weeks without seeing him before. Then the months and years add up and I sit here now, 10+ years later reflecting on what it would be like if I still had my dad.

He woke me up every single morning with the words “Up and at ‘em on the floor out the door!” before school, and “don’t have a good day, have a great day” when he dropped me off. My first semester in college I wrote a paper on what I had just experienced and how I was going to carry on, with these phrases as my guidance. What I have since realized is how much of a difference it would be if I just still had him. Its not that his words were forgotten, but the loss of someone so important is very, very real. His voice, his presence, his availability, conversation and advice; all captured from me leaving only memory and imagination to carry the load. He made me feel like he was in this world to be MY dad, but what was lost was so much more.

Cancer took my dad at 57 years old. Within those precious 57 years the variety of ways in which he impacted the masses that surrounded him was immeasurable. 28 years as a State Representative he served as the voice for the poor and elderly in his community. 30 years of consistently attending AA meetings he was the ear at the other end of the phone for those who knew he would understand. As a basketball coach he was a mentor in a neighborhood where boys were in dire need of direction. He was a revered brother to my five uncles and two aunts, a goofy fun uncle to the dozens of my cousins, a dedicated loving husband to my mother, and the best dad in the world to John, Mike, Maddy and myself.

He was only one man, yet meant so much to so many. And to think of how many amazing people like him we miss out on because of this terrible disease is why I ride.

I ride for my 2 brothers and sister who lost the same dad I did. I ride for my mom who lost her best friend. I ride for my nephews and nieces Gavin, Cameron, Cal, Mac, Farrah, Lila and Reese who never got to meet their grandfather. I ride for my newborn daughter Annabelle to ensure a safer future. I ride for the loved ones of all of the members of this special team who have been taken by this disease or are currently fighting it. I ride to take the next turn on my journey to get ‘out the door’ and use my story to fuel our cause to kick cancers ass and finally be able to keep these dads, moms, children and friends who mean SO much to so many.

Actual CURES are on the horizon. Let’s make it a reality. Any and all donations are GREATLY appreciated.

If you are unable to donate online but would like to contribute, please make checks out to Pan Mass Challenge

Checks can be mailed to:

Kevin A. Fitzgerald

31 Bradfield Ave.

Roslindale MA 02131

THANK YOU!!!!!