Riding in the Pan-Mass Challenge (PMC) has become a pursuit of self-discovery and healing for me. My first impactful contact with cancer was the passing of my father. I was completely unaware of the rapidly decaying state of my father’s health – he wanted the news kept under wraps so to “not worry the boys” (my older brothers and I). He had advanced stage lung cancer that metastasized to brain and bone. I was a young college grad at the time just beginning my career in Boston, and so consumed in my work I hardly took pause to recognize his health. That fateful day, I happened to be making my first public technical presentation on a conference stage in Georgia. I returned to the hotel to find a red blinking light on my hotel phone (no cell phone for me back then). Something compelled me to check it – it called the front desk and I received the message to call home…IMMEDIATELY.
I spoke with my Mom. I uttered a few words of encouragement and said repeatedly “hold on, hold on” as I then scrambled to change flight plans. There was no fast way home, at least not fast enough. He passed while I was racing my car home to VT.
My last contact with my father was saying goodbye on our porch as I was leaving to go back to Boston from a weekend visit about a month prior. I recall a distinctive calmness in his posture and eyes that day. And I also remember an unusually strong embrace before I left. He was a man of little words, but that day he said, “I’m proud of you.” He knew. “Bye Dad!” I said under my baseball cap as I bolted to my car, unaware that this was going to be my last chance to make any amends.
It was (and is) hard to put to words what I felt that day – anger, shock, sadness, you name it. I coiled into my work and years passed: marriage to my lovely wife, buying our (fixer-upper) home, bringing into the world two awesome & caring children (all in that order). Until 2015, I had only casually monitored the PMC charity event. I had always been an avid mountain biker and perhaps considered myself not up for the road challenge? Hah! Something triggered me to sign up for the PMC that year – I think it may have been brewing inside of me for years to ride in my father’s honor, and simply reached a boiling point. Or being a father of my own and wanting to set an example to my children was the most likely catalyst. So, in my first PMC in 2015, I decided to ride ~80 miles in a one-day ride from Bourne to Wellesley on the very mountain bike that my father bought for me in high school! It was like pedaling a tank at that distance. My legs and butt ached terribly. I sobbed for the last mile to the finish thinking of him. And at that moment I was hooked. In 2016, I rode the complete Pan-Mass covering ~190 miles over two days from Sturbridge to Provincetown.
Sadly, as some of you may also know, my mom passed away in early 2017 after an extended period of illness that included reoccurring lung cancer. She was an incredible woman and mother. Throughout her life, she casted aside her hopes and dreams in the service of others. She enabled me to excel for that I am certain; humbly and quietly, always there as a backstop for when I was falling behind or losing confidence in myself. In her last years of life, she endured numerous surgeries and lengthy medical procedures that would leave any normal person feeling like some exploratory pincushion and deflated. But through it all, she exemplified unmatched grit, determination, iron-clad will and persistence for life the likes I have never witnessed before. She finally decided to go to God when her body could support her no longer. This time I was present and could say my precious good-byes. Therefore, to honor her amazing strength and spirit, I added a “Day Zero” to my 2017 ride, starting in Brattleboro, VT (my hometown) and ending in Provincetown, MA with a total of ~275 miles over three days. In 2018 & 2019, I upped the ante and rode from the MA-NY border in another “Day Zero” Pan-Mass this time pushing closer to nearly 300 miles over three days in raising awareness and support of the PMC!
My passion for clean transportation in my work career, and firm belief that clean air (and water and food) is a right demanded of all creatures of this planet, surely stems from my personal experiences with my parent’s bouts with lung cancer.
To my family, friends and colleagues, I ride in the PMC in honor of all of you who have been profoundly touched in one way or another by cancer. With every pedal stroke I channel the positive energy, the courage, and the resilience you demonstrate. I continually push my physical limits to help support the scientists, physicians, clinicians and patients rewrite the boundaries of cancer research and treatment.
I hope I can count on your support:
I am so grateful to all of you who have supported me the past four years as I raised money for cancer research by riding in the Pan-Mass Challenge (PMC). Your contributions have helped the PMC gift more than ONE BILLION dollars to the Dana-Farber Cancer Institute (DFCI) in Boston for critical cancer research and care over its 44-year history. This is beyond huge!
I've made a personal commitment to raise $10,000 toward our collective mission to strike out cancer. So I hope you can help me achieve this significant goal. Every donation brings us closer by the mile. On behalf of the staff and patients at DFCI, cancer patients around the world for whom Dana-Farber research is lifesaving, and all our collective aspirations for a world without cancer, thank you and God bless!!
Darryl
