I decided to do my third Pan-Mass Challenge in 2022 for many reasons. One is mental health, a desire to get out of my mind and into my body. Another is the urge to work towards something undeniably positive and concrete at a time of constant uncertainty. But the biggest reason is the one that inspired me to ride for the first time in 2018: the legacy of those we’ve lost.

My 2018 ride was for Marijean Levering, my college theatre director. She died in 2017 at the age of 43 after a long battle with cancer. Marijean was perhaps the most no-nonsense person I’ve ever known. If you slouched too much at a rehearsal, she stuck you in high heels and a corset. When she stopped scenes, her critiques weren’t harsh; she just employed a quiet forcefulness that made you long to do better next time. Her mantra during the messy last weeks before a show was “Everything will be fine because it has to be.” I have those words on my fridge, next to my first PMC rider tags.

It’s no secret that the last two years have been a challenge all on their own. Everyone’s experience has been different; none of it should be swept under the rug of what gets called resilience. Instead, at times like these, we need solidarity - understanding that we have our own stories, and those are what brings us together. We need to work together to keep going. One of my favorite PMC-isms is “Commit - you’ll figure it out,” an obvious relative of “Everything will be fine because it has to be.” I’m back because I want to live those words with friends who understand them. If you are able, please consider supporting the incredible cause that is the PMC.