My father told me he was officially diagnosed with stage 4 prostate cancer on Sunday night after PMC weekend last year. It was a diagnosis that deep down we likely knew was coming, but were so desperately trying to believe would not. Soon after hanging up with my dad, I boarded a flight home to NYC from Boston which was among the longest and loneliest hours of my life. Why him? Why now? Why wasn’t it detected earlier? What now…? I had never felt so helpless, angered and out of control in my life, and could not stop thinking what my dad was feeling.
It wasn’t much longer before I learned that my dad actually received his cancer diagnosis on Friday before the PMC, but refrained from telling my family and me because he wanted us to enjoy our weekends. That is my dad in a nutshell. I honestly can’t remember a time my dad hasn’t dropped everything at a moment’s notice to put us first. As a husband, father and most recently, as a grandfather (or VanPa as we like to call him), my dad has always paved the way for us and made sure we had a damn good time doing it.
Over the past year, I have witnessed firsthand the trials and tribulations of a cancer diagnosis and what it does to both a patient and their loved ones. It is confusing, maddening, and put simply, devastating. But there are also many moments of brightness in embracing life and the love and support from those closest you. As a son, I feel like there are not many times in life where one can feel “proud” of their father. Sons are raised to admire, respect and look up to fathers as role models, but very few times are the roles reversed and a son able to be proud in a paternal manner. Through this journey, I can honestly say I am proud of my dad. I am proud of the way he has faced this battle head on no matter how difficult it gets. I am proud of the way he continues to put everyone else in our family first (despite our best efforts). And, most importantly, I am proud of the way he continues to live life to the fullest. My dad has shown me that a cancer diagnosis does not define a person, but rather it is how that person responds that defines them.
Unfortunately, my dad’s diagnosis is far from the first time my life has been impacted by cancer. The whole reason I began riding the PMC three years ago was after one of my best friends, Nick Tierney, lost a battle with gastric cancer in February 2021 at the age of 28. I am proud to be riding alongside some of Nick and my closest friends for a fourth year to raise funds for the Nick Tierney Gastric Cancer Fund, and alongside my brother for the first year to honor my father and his continued fight against prostate cancer.
Please consider donating to support all those whose lives have been affected by cancer! Any and all donations are greatly appreciated!!
#ForVanPa
#ForTierney
